I could probably eat blueberry pancakes every single day. I usually reserve them as a Saturday morning breakfast/brunch treat or any day of the week that I have time treat. Yesterday was rough. I was dejected and spiralled into a bout of depression. My life feels like everything is up in the air and definitely not how I would have planned it. This morning I woke up purposed to not stay down. I went to the kitchen for just a cup of coffee and decided that I had time for my blueberry pancakes! I have been full all day!!
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I have a friend who is a mental health professional. I reached out to him a few months ago when I felt that I was at the end of my rope. He recommended a few psychologists. Once I finally found the nerve to call, the one I selected was no longer in practice. I moved to the next name on the list and still have not called. I have communicated with her and she is very understanding and realizes it is a big step to ask for this type of help. The one thing that she said that helps me inch towards finally talking to her was, “Just look at it as helping you to put skills in a toolbox to help deal with whatever is making you consider therapy in the 1st place…definitely no pressure.” Yet I still have not called. Seeking therapy does carry an unfair stigma. Definitely does not mean that I am crazy, just that help is needed. In the Black community, speaking with a psychologist or a psychiatrist is not an acceptable form of help. In the Christian community, this type of help seems to oppose the power of prayer. I think my hesitation lies in the thought that I can work it out. Things will get better. After yesterday or even during my “crisis” I should I have ran to this stranger. Yet I chose to sleep and wake up this morning to eat blueberry pancakes.
I definitely cannot eat my way to peace. I am already struggling with my weight! Talking is cheap, healthy, and safe. Prayer still works but I do need time to discuss me.
Thanks for reading. I hope to update this post with revelations after my talk with the therapist.
Give Love. Get Love.