Personal essays · Reflections

Mother’s Day

I can appreciate a holiday that allows people the opportunity to express their love, appreciation, and precious throwback photos of their mother. Just like my favorite, Valentine’s Day, each year on social media, feeds are flooded with pics surrounded by words of adoration that make me smile. But one thing I noticed this year was a generational theme. So many pics of mothers and grandmothers – 1st-time mothers posting pics with their child and then their mother. It reminded me the importance of a village (refer to my previous post here). It made me realize the significance of one’s past to acknowledge the future.

Mother’s day also reminds me of those who have lost a parent. Many of my friends, peers have lost their mother. My sympathy extends to them each holiday. I never know if it’s safe to call, text, or share a fond memory. I depend on my mother so much, and I could not imagine life without her. My mom lost her mom was about my age. Even though we are in two different phases of life, I know my mom would appreciate having her mother now.

This year, in particular, causes me to think upon those with strained mother/daughter relationships. Being a mother is an unending, tireless, and frequently, thankless role. Many are given the responsibility without warning or preparation. I have always seen motherhood as a gift because not every woman is granted the title, at least not biologically. One of my mottos has been, “Children don’t come with instruction manuals” and if you become unexpectedly or undesirably pregnant, no manner of manuals will help. It is my hope this holiday provides an opportunity for healing or reconciliation.

And in honor of this particular day, my brother, the artist, GI Magus has released a new song, Simone GraceIt serves as an ode to the beauty of the black woman as a hope to inspire young brown-skinned women to accept themselves just as they are and to carry that feeling into adulthood. It is an intergenerational lullaby that should motivate mothers to teach their daughters to embrace every curve, every dimple, every mole, and every pimple. Anchored by the hashtag #tellher, GI is signaling to all his followers to tell her that she is loved, that she is beautiful, that she is essential, and that she matters.

Motherhood is more than a notion. Being a godmother and aunt are roles that I have been honored to claim. Being surrounded by so many beautiful women who have shown me numerous lessons in sacrifice, devotion, elasticity, multiplicity,  and sheer grace has allowed me to appreciate being the man with a womb. Regardless of the circumstance or the relationship, #tellher (mom, sister, daughter, wife, friend) beyond social media and before it is too late. Do not assume that she knows. She would not mind hearing it again and again and again…

Give love. Get love.

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